Unity has always been a goal of Femmelicious Productions & the “Butchlesque” events. From mingles & pool parties… shopping events at 6S Boutique… rehearsals… to the shows themselves… we always strive to foster new associations & partnerships, as well as to further solidify existing ones. One wonderful outcome of this quest for unity has been LOVE. As a result of “Butchlesque” events in the past 12 months, several couples have found love. These couples came to be in a variety of ways. Sometimes love has bloomed between contestants. Such is the case with Elaine Bolton (“Bluestar”) and Dana Patton (“J. D. Woodford”).

If you attended “Butchlesque” on June 2nd at Gulfport, or if you’ve seen the DVD or photos of the show, then you may have noticed that Elaine & Dana wore very complementary attire for the “Dapper” portion of the competition. Stylish suits & hats. Dana’s dark complexion was outfitted in a white suit, while fair-complexioned Elaine was in the black suit. Even then, they struck this writer as the human depiction of the yin / yang symbol. According to Chinese philosophy, yin & yang are not opposing forces. They are complementary forces that interact to form a greater whole. Light could not be understood if darkness didn’t exist; and shadow couldn’t exist without light. If you’ve seen Elaine & Dana together, then you’ve witnessed how beautifully they each enhance the other. They are so supportive & encouraging of one another, and they have this magnificent glow together.

In addition to Elaine & Dana, other “Butchlesque” competitors have found love through the show. “Butchlesque” Twitter postings united contestant “Jake” Turner with guest-blogger “FemmeFairyGodmother” — who was all the way up in Michigan!!

What about our “Butchlesque” followers & audience members?  Has the “Butchlesque” love goddess cast her magic spell on YOU?  If you met your love through our shows, our Facebook communities, our Twitter presence, or other “Butchlesque”-related happenings, we would LOVE (there’s that word again!) to hear from you about it!!

Thoughts On My Butch Identity

A few years back I spent some time thinking about how I felt about my body and whether or not I felt comfortable being me, being a woman.  Was I really just trying to be a guy?  Was I trans?  Growing up I played with trucks and Hot Wheels, wanted to play sports that typically only guys could play, daydreamed about being the hero, the tough guy in the movies and on television.  So did that mean I wanted to be a guy?

As it turns out, my answer was ‘no’.  While it’s true that my mental picture of my body, or the body that I am working towards, looks more like a guys in the sense that I am working towards more muscle, it doesn’t mean that I actually want to be a guy.  I like my body.  I like being a woman.  I like passing as a man.  I like being able to move between genders.

I like being Butch.

Dressing in “men’s” clothes, having a “men’s” haircut, being more masculine, being a gentleman and even using binders or packing does not mean that I want to be a guy.  I am a woman who is more comfortable wearing these things, doing these things and presenting as masculine.  It’s a difficult dichotomy to understand. Those things feel empowering to me.

Honestly, I think that part of it is the mystery that is me.  The mystery that I create by being a Butch woman.  The confusion that I create in this existence.  Part of me is kind of a shit and likes to mess with people’s heads and the other part of me just wants people to wake the hell up and realize that we don’t all fit into those gender stereotypes that we grew up with.  We can all move through the gender binary fluidly.  Back and forth between feminine and masculine.  You can be a femme one day and butch it up the next! 

The many assumptions people make about me and my identity are interesting to me. Because I’m butch I must be stone, always strong physically and emotionally, feel no emotions, never want to be touched sexually, always the top, never shy, always the aggressor, can fix anything, owner of many tools, threatened by a strong and independent femme and that I don’t embrace any part of my feminine side.  None of these assumptions are true for me. 

I am far from being a stone butch.

I have my moments of weakness both physically and emotionally.  I feel all kinds of emotions and most of the time I have absolutely no way of hiding them.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I definitely want to be touched, bitten, kissed, licked, penetrated and everything else when it comes to sex.  I LOVE being a switch and find it incredibly hot when a femme woman tops me. 

I am mostly shy and a bit oblivious to flirting.  Let me rephrase that.  I am mostly completely oblivious to flirting. 

It takes a shit ton (Yes, that’s a technical term. Because I said so.) of courage for me to ask someone out on a date but most of the time, if they say yes, I’m all over being the aggressor after getting past that initial question. 

While it’s true that I can fix a lot of things, I definitely can’t fix everything nor do I want to.  I am, sadly, not the owner of many tools, although I really would like that assumption to be true some day.  I like tools.  I like them a lot. 

I certainly am not threatened by a strong, independent femme.  As a matter of fact, I’m really turned on by them.   I mean, think about it.  A femme fixing things or building things, knowing how to use her hands and get dirty?  Yeah.  So sexy. 

As far as embracing my feminine side, I embrace all sides of myself.  Feminine, masculine, dorky, nerdy, silly, weak, strong, witty, serious, emotional, artistic, boi, Daddy, etc.  I am finally at the point in my life where I embrace and accept all of me.  Because, you see, I’ve finally realized that while I may or may not find my soul mate and be with her for the rest of my days here on this planet, I am definitely going to be with me so I damn well better start liking me.  Otherwise, it’s going to be a long road.

After finally learning this lesson an idea came to me for an art project. I wanted to show the world that there are many different expressions of butch and femme. All of them are unique to those who claim the identities. I wanted to capture those unique expressions in photographs. My project, The Butch/Femme Photo Project, is a photojournalistic journey through the individual and unique identities of Femme and Butch. The project itself is in it’s infancy stage but you can read more about it and see some of the photographs here: The Butch/Femme Photo Project

I’ve recently created a Facebook page for the project, as well.  Click over and let me know what you think! I’m still looking for participants, as well, so message or email me!

We are all individuals with our own identities.  Express them!  Embrace them!  Love them!  Most importantly, just be you.